Friday, January 17, 2014

Oh, my child...

Dear Little Teeny Baby,

Do you know I love you? I want you to know I love you, even though the  last thing I expected when the doctor called after my blood tests was the news that you existed.  I wasn't expecting to be pregnant, but you know, God has different plans than ours, and His ways are better than ours, and I loved you right away. Can you even imagine that He picked me to be your mother?  I started to take the medicine we all thought was going to help you live, but the blood tests showed the numbers were starting to go down. Your dad and I weren't expecting to lose you so soon, but God has different plans than ours, and His ways are better than ours.  I want to let you know that I love you, even though I won't ever get to stroke your little cheek, blow on your downy hair, kiss your toes or even know if you are a boy or girl.  You know, you have lots of brothers and sisters in heaven, and Dad and I love them so much, too. You also have lots of brothers and sisters who live here in our house, and I love them and they love YOU.  They're pretty sad they won't get to meet you until their time here is over, but they're happy you'll meet God.   I want you to know that I love you, and I am grateful that for a while you lived inside me.  Your short life showed us how good God is to us, you made us see yet again how wonderful your brothers and sisters are, you reaffirmed how important the gift of life is to us, and you sure did make us realize once again to never EVER take anything for granted. Your life is important, and now you get to live in heaven, too, that's how important you are.  I submit to the will of Our Lord, even though I love you so much, and don't want to let you go.  We've been through this before, and know what to expect, but  I want you to know that I still love you, and I miss you.  Even though we lost those other siblings before, it doesn't get easier, and you are unique, and wonderful, and your life has such meaning, and now it's even more significant because you will be forever pure, and you get to be in paradise! Do you know I love you? You do, better than I could ever tell you in words, because you live with God now.  Until we all meet again and our family is whole in Heaven, I love you, my wee little child. Please pray for us.

Love, your mommy

1 comment:

  1. Carolyn: Just reading this now. So terribly sorry for your loss.